Irrational Fears.

I often wonder if I will ever have a life outside of a back brace again. The pain I thought was gone returned over the last few days. I may have gotten a little too excited about being healed and now it’s coming back to haunt me.

Most of the time I’ll do anything to not get fat. There’s only a certain amount of weight I’m willing to accumulate before it’s time to get my life together. I understand some people will say my fears are irrational and I’ll counter that with they are irrational and are more likely to get fat.

I like to run, cycle and workout and four months of disability  put all of that on hold. I had dimples on my thighs when I stood up, so at the first sign of being healed I ran. I ran by the beach and up stairs and all the way home 3 times a week. Now I’m crying for my chiropractor like he’s my mommy.

I’m not sure if the idea that I may never live a pain-free life again is irrational or not. Once upon a time I believed my fears and premonitions of being in a car wreck were irrational as well. Now I see it as an everyday possibility.


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