Where should I go?
After all these years I am still unsure if I am running away or just trying to see the world. As a kid I wanted to run away and become a spy for the government, as a teenager I just wanted to run away.
As an “adult” it doesn’t seem to matter because everything blurs together anyway. I feel like I don’t belong anywhere specific so I try to go everywhere. It has evolved into a lifestyle. When I get comfortable in a place, I get the jitters before leaving. It’s like I’m doing it for the first time all over again except I may have accumulated some bad memories.
I also see it as a hobby or a purpose. Something I work hard for and save my pennies to do. I have never had a lease or a mortgage and have no desire to get one just yet. I play around and call myself “homeless” because in one perspective that is exactly what I am. But in my own perspective I feel as if I am living my life “the right way”. Wandering around by choice. I have several different homes and want nothing more than to expand it.
I’ve been having the urge to go some place new again but am unsure of where I want to go or what I want to see. I want it to be a place that feels good but you never know what kind of place that will be for you until you arrive there. Everything is in the luck of the draw. No advertisement, story or photo can ever depict how a place’s energy will coincide with and affect your own. When we try something new we are walking into the unknown and with some of us, it never gets easier to do even with practice.
For now, I snagged a $40 plane ticket to see my family and will be in Northern California for the last half of December. Maybe from there I will know where that someplace new is.
I’ve become restless on the mainland…