My new year began in November when I realized that becoming self-employed some way, some how was a necessity.
This year taught me the value of time over money and that my youth doesn’t guarantee that I will live every single day. I wouldn’t say that 2015 was a life-changer just yet but my mind-set has changed dramatically. Fears were conquered and new one’s were introduced. But after nearly losing my shit at the beginning of summer and dealing with the physical aftermath to this day, I’ve learned to say fuck my fears and live life while it’s here.
“Self employed” sounds so much better than unemployed. It may seem like it doesn’t matter which term I use because either way I’m not really making any money despite my work but speaking things into existence, I heard, makes a world of difference.
Instead of being distraught over having to abandon my career path, I feel free to work on all of the projects I enjoy. At the beginning of the year when I was depressed and stressed out at my graveyard pastry chef position, I wrote down that I wanted to become location independent and self-employed. I walked out on that job and became a manager at another restaurant as an in-between.
Here I am in December kind of self-employed and very much so location independent and it only took a car crash and a disability to get me here. It’s hard to get the hang of things like how to work my ass off without anyone watching me, how to not sleep in, how to not take 5 days off, and how to constantly learn new ways to make money and implement them, but it has only been 2 months since this journey began and I probably have a few more years until I get it down and find my way.
I have been praying that my body heals itself all the way so that I can return to work because it was a field I enjoyed and I’ve been offered plenty of opportunity, however I do understand that my life isn’t really up to me. I’m just here for the ride and if I am given a gift that I asked for, it’s simply a miracle. Not an entitlement.
As for resolutions I haven’t exactly made any. I wasn’t able to fully live my life this year so that is the only thing I am aiming for in 2016 : to live a full life and to make up for lost time.