Commitment is the number one aspect of life I have yet to master. In fact I have yet to even get my feet wet. I dodge bullets like no other, believing in my heart that there will always be a place with greener grass and using my age as an excuse to not even try to practice it.
“Hell, I’m young. I have forever. ”
I have trouble committing to a single idea, a career, a relationship. Even a diet.
I was catapulted into veganism back when I was about 10 years old and was unaware the word existed. The facts at that time were that every time I ate meat I threw up and every time I binged on milkshakes or ice cream or cheese I immediately broke out in what was either hives, eczema or psoriasis. Maybe it was all of the above that morphed me into a scaly iguana and made my hair fall out. I also developed ulcers in my stomach.
As I grew up my reasoning for vegetarianism went from health to flavor. I loved eating fresh everyday. My moods were more balanced, depression at lower levels and my energy was up. Food tasted better, life felt better. I pooped everyday, and I pooped easily.
As I grew more into the type of adulthood in which I paid my bills, I stayed vegetarian because it was cheaper. $10 at the store and I had great food for a week. Although I’ve eaten this way for over half my life, it has not been a perfect journey. I still mess up and get cheese on my pizza or eat sushi.
It’s not in my nature to be in a box.
I trick myself into believing that if I cheat on my diet then I’m a pure fuck up at committing and sticking to my word. But it can also be argued that commitment indeed lies in the perseverance in spite of circumstance or obstacle. Fucking up doesn’t necessarily mean Im a complete failure at life. I just want cheese on my pizza when I order one.
Vegetarian meals with a speck of cheese have now become my “junk food” when back in the day it was an example of me eating “healthy”; a giant avocado bacon burger or medium rare steak was my junk once upon a time.
Commitment is all about the decision and what goes into making that decision determines whether a person will remain committed through all circumstance and failures or if they will just scrap it all and grab a burger somewhere.
This can also relate to marriage.
Other ways I’ve been practicing commitment is making myself do some sort of exercise for some length of time every day and drinking tons of water. Not having a regular job to go to or friends to distract me makes it extremely easy to be glued to YouTube or Netflix in a vertical position.
Although I have been extremely content, comfortable and fulfilled in my personal cocoon, there will always be ways I can “get my shit together.”